My firstborn son is maybe the sweetest guy ever.

When this sweet boy came into my life, I wasn’t sure about the direction of my path. This was my second pregnancy and emotionally different from my first. I felt calm, grounded, and I knew life was going to be good. I was so in love with his father and wanted so much to settle down and be a homemaker. 

I was only 21 then. Life wasn’t easy, we moved often. My new husband had two children already and fitting us all into a family was very difficult sometimes to maintain. But we had an abundance of love for each other and we laughed a lot. My sweet boy was a quiet baby and a self-entertained toddler. He still can be quiet most of the time.

Now he is 14, the time has flown by and I feel like I have hardly gotten a chance to know him. He keeps so much of himself inside. I think he is afraid to say the wrong thing. Afraid that maybe we wouldn’t  understand. Both his dad and I were weird kids. We went through a lot, each of us. I think we could understand more than he knows. Maybe someday he will share his world with us.

Sometimes I worry about his gentle heart. He stays with his dad now, about an hour and a half away. I miss him all the time and I know he misses me. When I go to visit him he snuggles me as much as he can. He is growing so big, he resembles his dad in a lot of ways. I hope we have raised him better than his dad was. I want to continue to see that sweetness in him. He is coming to stay with me for part of the summer and I am very excited! I love that child of mine so much.


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